After months in hiatus, I am baccckkkkkkk!
It’s been 5 months since my last entry, and a lot of things have happened, so I don’t even know where to begin my story. To say I was unhappy or depressed is an understatement. In January, I gave birth to my baby girl, and what was supposedly a happy moment turned ugly – because I was sadder than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
First of all, I did not expect to have a caesarean birth, let alone stay at the hospital for one week. I was throwing up bile for three days, I was still bloated and I looked like I was pregnant again! I couldn’t eat or drink because I would just throw it up. Finally, the doctors decided to empty my stomach – they put a tube up my nose! I was in misery!
I was shocked to know that they do not allow husbands to stay in the room overnight. I had never heard of such a thing because even on the small island in my hometown in the Philippines they don’t do that. I cannot forget one night that I cried so hard because I was worried being alone with my baby, and the smell of the bleach in the bathroom was so strong. Fortunately, the midwife felt pity on me – she went above and beyond, spoke to her supervisor, and I was I moved to a private room, so my husband was able to stay with me.
The whole week that I was at the hospital I was moved to seven different wards, and saw 5 different doctors: each time the next doctor did not know who I was or remember me! I had to introduce myself to them each time and tell them my situation. While it was understandable, because they have other patients to attend to, it was the last thing I needed.
I was traumatized by the experience. I cannot forget it, and I dread going through it again. I am already 42 and this might be the only pregnancy I will ever have and it did not turn out the way I had wanted. I do not want to go through it again. I regretted my decision to give birth in the UK, but it was no one’s fault other than my own.
I should have researched giving birth in the UK before moving to the UK. I could have given birth in California, or even in my home town in the Philippines. I think I would have had a better experience in my country, but I wanted to be close to my husband. That’s why I came here, despite having other options. But, c’est la vie.
Effe moves to the UK 