Misconception

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The 13th of November. I am now in the United Kingdom, living with my husband Michael. I know I have not spoken much about my pregnancy since a friend posted and tagged me with my pregnancy photos. Many of my friends were surprised and curious what happened because I kept this news secret for many months. I was asked many times if this pregnancy was intentional or planned or was this an accident?

My pregnancy was not planned at all, but like many other women I’ve thought about it and wanted to have a child one day. However, I did not expect it will come now and not this quick.

I would not call it an accident but it came as a surprise to Michael and myself. We’d only dated roughly two months, including the getting to know each other time, and then I got pregnant. He had just returned from a vacation trip to Peru when I realized I missed my period. I tried to do a test but it failed because I didn’t do it right. I wanted to try another one or tell Michael about it but I thought it will just be a waste of money because I was really convinced it will have negative result and also I didn’t want him to freak out.

First Date we went to LACMA museum on March 2

Finally, I decided to tell him in a funny way so as not to scare him. However, it did not really work well as it got him worried. At home, I just tossed the first stick after doing the test because I was confident that it will have a negative result. But lo and behold Michael saw two pink lines on the stick! I remember in his own words with his British accent he said, “so there’s two lines? you’re pregnant!” I was like “ahhh uhmmm, that is incorrect, I’ll do another test”, but he continued saying, “there’s two lines it’s highly unlikely it’s an error.”

Honestly, I was the one freaking out. I was so scared that he would get mad at me or say something that would  hurt my feelings. So I did another test but while doing it I was thinking this might still be positive but at the same time I was questioning how can it be? Really? I’m pregnant? How?

True enough the result was positive again. I do not know how or what I felt at that moment – I was just STUNNED! On the one hand, I was grinning, I was so happy, but on the other hand I was so scared that Michael will get upset or might turn his back and not take responsibility. 

To my surprise Michael, despite being nervous, accepted the news. His first question was, “alright, where do you want to live?” I replied, I don’t know – I had just learned I was pregnant and I was still trying to let that sink in to my head, and he asked me where do I want to live? Second question, “are you willing to move to England?” I was more perplexed but I just heard the word England and I got excited so I said YES!, grinning ear to ear. Honestly, I didn’t know what I was thinking at that time. All I knew was that he didn’t say anything to hurt my feelings.

A few minutes passed and I asked him repeatedly, am I pregnant? Please tell me I am not pregnant, but he replied yes you are. I said please tell me I am just dreaming, he replied no you’re not. Are we going to be parents? He said, “yes I guess so.” Then I started crying and sobbing. It slowly sank in, and I said, SHIT! This is real!

Despite the two test results, I still could not believe it. So, in the morning I went to Walgreens pharmacy and got this more expensive “Clearblue” pregnancy kit. This time the results aren’t just two lines, it shows either you are Pregnant or Not Pregnant. Surely the result would put an end to my doubts, I remember sitting in my car for an hour staring at the test result saying Pregnant before calling Dada, my ex husband, about my news.

The Turn of events

The following week after I learned that I was pregnant, I got a confirmation that I was hired for the job that I had applied for in Saipan in the Northern Marianas Islands. I was hired as a TV news anchor and reporter for KSPN2.

I was still set to go to Saipan to follow my dreams despite being pregnant. I thought this is it and as a budding journalist that would have been my break, the break that I have been waiting for.

However, I had no idea that Michael was struggling about my decision to leave, I thought he supported my decision. Perhaps he was just reluctant to tell me because he knows how much I wanted that job.

I struggled with the decision, but after consulting my mentor and friends in the media, I decided to stay in Los Angeles. Looking back, I realized how stupid I was to think how simple this pregnancy is. I even said to myself, I just got pregnant, so what?! Other than the fact that my belly is growing, nothing else has changed.

Photo taken by my roommate Mikey after we got married at Orange County courthouse.

Lessons 

I never really thought I would end up relocating to the UK with Michael after he told me that his job posting was due to end in October and he was going back to the U.K., so whatever happened between us may only be temporary. I thought I was not going to start something that wasn’t going anywhere. So I decided to focus on my career. I thought that after living in Los Angeles for thirteen years, it’s about time to see other places and start a new life –  maybe I’ll find my prince charming somewhere else. In fact, I’ve applied to various TV stations around the country, to distant places as far away as Wyoming, Montana, Delaware, Maine etc.

However, this baby surprised us both, and in some ways I feel that he or she made a way for Michael and I to be together. Was this a misconception? I say no, because everything happens for a reason. 

When I got pregnant, and when Michael decided to be with me and be responsible for the baby, I thought, Wow! This guy is fantastic. I said, “whoever raised this young man really did a great job.”